Paper, Rock, Clippers.

Although I love the NBA (more & more each year) and love watching any game on any given night of the week, it is always tough to make it through a whole Clippers game. Though due to betting & fantasy purposes, I did watch the whole "City of Angels Showdown" between the Lakers & Clippers tonight.

This post isn't much more than me reminding everyone of the fact that the Los Angeles Clippers are a complete joke of a franchise (not news to anyone) and can't be taken seriously. I can't say there is one owner in all of the major sports (besides Al Davis of the Raiders) who does a worse job of running a franchise from top to bottom than Donald Sterling does. I feel pretty bad for Mike Dunleavy Sr. because he is actually a really good head coach who has just made some shitty location decisions in the last 15 years.



I actually laughed out loud for a whole minute tonight when the cameras cut to the bench of the Clippers during a timeout. Not only are their 4 best players (Baron Davis, Chris Kaman, Marcus Camby & Zach Randolph) "injured" and watching in street clothes, but two of those four were on their phone with their backs turned to the team during the timeout huddle. I was waiting for one of them to turn around and ask their teammates to quiet down while they attended to the "important" call.

And if that wasn't enough.. During a different camera cut to the bench, with the Clippers down 16 in the fourth quarter, two subs (Jason Hart & Mike Taylor) who got no playing time for obvious reasons, were on the bench involved in a heated match of "Paper, Rock, Scissors."


YOUR FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT?? PAPER, ROCK, SCISSORS???

Backup (to the backup) PG Jason Hart, has played 12.9 minutes this year of his teams possible 1,968 minutes (41 games). His salary for 2009 is: get ready for this... $2,484,000. That's right..

TWO MILLION-FOUR HUNDRED & EIGHTY FUCKING FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS.

Now I've always thought being a third string quarterback for an NFL team would be the dream/ideal sports job. You get to rake in the league minimum (anywhere from $285,000 to $800,00 depending on your experience), with an idea that you probably wont be seeing any playing time/getting hurt/worrying about a thing. But after witnessing what I did tonight I have changed my mind....

Being a third string point guard for a franchise that expects nothing out of you while making 2.5 Million a year for 13 minutes of work & getting to enjoy such classic grade school games as Paper, Rock, Scissors, sounds way better than carrying a clipboard around... Jason Hart, consider yourself blessed & one lucky bastard.

If only mediocrity in every profession led to that kind of compensation...

Milf Hunter Is Burning!

Being an avid sports fan and somewhat of an asshole myself, I've gradually become a Big Jim Rome fan over the years. I constantly find myself in heated arguments over this Man and what most would call his lack of "etiquette" or "social grace". I tend to believe it is those such qualities that make him entertaining, likable and extremely watchable. Let's take a brief look at this resume: Calling out Jim Everett & Gordie Howe (at 69 yrs old) for being pussies; Made a cameo in Space Jam; Participated in a Blink-182 video shoot; Carries nicknames such as "Van Smack" & "Pimp in the Box"; and is a Member of the Jewish sports Hall of Fame. Need I go any further? Jim Rome personifies the meaning of Cool and it is as simple as that. But With only a 30 Minute Television Show and a 3 Hour Radio show, I've always wondered to myself, Where does all the "Coolness" derive from? There just has to be something More.

This morning, just like every other, I woke up to my daily routine of A Heineken, Frosted Mini Wheats & a Little Masturbation. While wandering aimlessly through the pornographic fields of the Internet I came across a familiar website that has been loyal to me for years. I'm sure if your a male anywhere from the age of 18-30, you know what MILFHUNTER.com is.. and if you don't your either lying or your..lying. Well I, like many, have idolized "Shawn "The Milf" Hunter" for a while now. Basically, his job entitles getting extremley drunk, banging really hot 30+ year olds & saying goodbye to them forever. Day after Day without end, this is all he does. He was sure making a run at Jim Rome for the coolest guy alive in my book.

While watching "Shawn" dominate this tiny 31 year old girl named Heidi this morning, I had a shocking revelation that makes too much sense to not be true. How can two men with the same stature, nose, goatee, receding hair line & tan hold such high regards in my book & look exactly the same? There is only one answer to this: JIM ROME IS THE MILF HUNTER. I'm so ashamed with myself, I should have realized this earlier! He has been giving us hints his whole entire tenure on air. There were so many signs!

He calls his audience "The Clones." His On Air motto is "Have a Take, Don't Suck, Or Your Gunna Get Run!" Jim's refers to his calls that suck as "Flaming or Flaming Out." He begins his Radio show with an instrumental version of Iggy Pop's "Lust for Life." And in his own damn word's, "I prefer to HUNT DOWN interviews."

Dear Jim, or Shawn whichever one is the real you,

I don't know if this is some sick Fight Club split personality deal where only the viewers can see both of you. But I want you to know that i know what your doing. Those sunglasses & dying your hair slightly less brown every day doesn't fool me. I will keep as quiet as i can, but this discovery only adds to the legend that you are in my book. So saying that i will not be boasting about this finding, may be a lie.

-Sense Is Common